What’s difficult about receiving? I wonder…

My amazing daughter (no bias here!J) is tutoring a college coed in Chinese.  In high-school she studied Chinese and strongly understands the foundation of the language.  But, she has not taken Chinese since high school and wants to strengthen and retain her capacities. So, she is tutoring a student, free of charge, to offer him support and sustain her skills. Simple. Yes, well sometimes.

On several occasions my daughter has shared with me that every (yes, every) tutoring session this student says he can’t believe she is tutoring him without compensation. Katelyn has explained that she is benefitted from the experience and so it is quite simple to her. For some reason, he is struggling with her generosity.

When I spoke to Katelyn she was really curious and that’s when I indicated that some of us, many of us, have a hard time receiving, especially when money is part of the equation. I’m guessing that this student has only paid for tutoring and so is unfamiliar with “receiving”.  Receiving sometimes makes us feel uncomfortable. Common feelings and accompanying thoughts are: Fear – what is this person going to expect from me in return? Shame – I don’t deserve this generosity.  Entitlement – I’ve done so much for others that I deserve this gift.

When you reflect on your receiving experience, are you open and welcoming to other’s generosity? Or, are there subtle contracting feelings (fear, anger, entitlement) that prevent you from receiving the full bounty of gifts from others? I wonder.